Retinol Complex

Death by the thousand paper cuts—

of a burning beauty

 

Smoke for all—and taste

for a selective few

 

Holding myself in my arms

With pity and golden envy

Puffing my potential away in toned hourglass-shaped pumes

 

But there is no nicotine patch for someone; 

like me 

No diagnosis for looking in the mirror and being at the crossroads

 

Violent destruction for the failure to become 

what so so many have been

Or sensual prayer to the altar my ashes have built

 

That which lived in ruins has gathered 

and made opulence out of its poverty

And yet, 

 

there is not enough gold-leaf to line these walls 

Soon my temple will be the next sacked 

For these days are short lived 

and the mob requires penance

 

They decide I must burn for my decay

 

So this is my warning to you 

There is no cure for you after I’ve loved you 

Because I know so few ways to conform

And even when I do, 

I don’t do it well

 

I will eat my chocolate cakes as often as I can make them 

I’ll cry on the scale 

and after—

I’ll make them once again

 

Because life has taught me every extreme

And every day I can

I’ll teach you some more

 

Each day there will be less of me 

But more of someone new

 

A perfect little chalice 

To be poured and admired

Forbade and acquired

 

For you can never stop singing 

If you want me to keep dancing

 

Build me something worth living in 

And let me show you life in pain

 

A life spent achingly aware

Let me show you real withdrawal

 

Follow the path of my bloody petals

Bleeding, from all the times I’ve taken my beauty myself

So it would hurt less when time takes her turn

 

Deflower me and degrade yourself 

Pray I live 

To pour you some more